Oh, sweet merciful pineapples, I’m going back to work tomorrow.
Alright, where have I been? Summering, my dear. Roadtrips, picnics, meticulously prepared muffins and veg and dip, caprese sandwiches and sneaky broccoli cheese quesadillas (as far as What I’m Feeding My Kid has been going). We’ve visited with family, and Pepper has spent time with her various cousins, older and younger. For that matter, she’s starting to learn what sharing is, and that she is SO not into it. Especially when the object to be shared is mom. As I held her month old cousin, she slowly lay down on the floor and sobbed. Dear me.
When she isn’t practicing her dramatics, she colouring, painting, doodling, scribbling. She can while away at it literally for an hour, and I’m keen to encourage it! The quiet moments free of incessant climbing and inevitable head bonks are refreshing.
Our apple tree has been producing amazing fruit, and I’ve been creating batch after batch of fall scented treats; apple sauce, cider, apple cheddar scones, mini apple pies. I get a little in over my head, and thank god for colouring.
But this summer suddenly began to dwindle away. Darker in the mornings and evenings, cool and a threat of frost taunting us nightly. Slowly, we start to close windows about the house, and soon it will be time to pack up the flip flops.
Don’t make me think about it. Not just yet. Don’t get me wrong, I love fall, but where I live, it lasts about a month…..gah.
So, with fall comes my return to work, after 15 months of stay at home momming. I will return to school, to boogers, and untied laces, to snacktime, to centers, to first day tears and running to get slow pokes on the bus home. I won’t be working full time, but I worry.
I worry about relinquishing control of Pepper’s day, even to her dad.
I worry about coming home to a trainwreck of a house and being tired and cranky and not prepared to clean it.
I worry Pep will spend way too much time watching TV just so I can get the laundry done and the floor swept.
I worry I’ll catch every cold and share it with her.
I worry I’ll come home exhausted from chasing children around and not be happy to see my own.
i’m afraid, somehow, Pep will suffer.
I do have high hopes that the little breaks in my week (my days at school) will be a nice change of pace, leaving me refreshed and eager to play with Pepper. I do have fond memories of forming bonds with those chipper little kindergarteners, and of stickers and crafts and proud little faces. And, I mean, there ARE always designated lunch breaks…..
i do hope I am not making a mistake……..
To be continued, I suppose.