Monthly Archives: December 2013

A Year Lived

Posted on December 31, 2013 by CGsaysstuff

2013 was a year unlike any other for me. I lived and loved more than I ever have, and alternately, I lost more than I ever have. Yes, I lost security and innocence and my first baby. I lost the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby loss, grief, hope, looking back, loss, miscarriage, moving forward, new year, photographs, pregnancy new pregnancy | 9 Comments

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Posted on December 27, 2013 by CGsaysstuff

As the snow piles up around us, leaning in towards the windows of the house like a tired soldier, I stare out across the fields of white meeting skies just the same. This year we hosted Christmas at our house … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby loss, Christmas, family, holidays, looking back, looking fowrad, miscarriage, moving on, new pregnancy, pregnancy, remembrance | 2 Comments

A Creature Is Stirring or Declaring ‘Pregnancy’

Posted on December 19, 2013 by CGsaysstuff

The Christmas season is upon us, and the glorious break from work draws near. I wash my hands excessively, trying unsuccessfully to fend off the colds and flus and booger jambalayas of Kindergarten. Straighten dresses, fix hairbands, wipe faces. Line … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby loss, fear, happiness, hope, miscarriage, moving forward, pregnancy | 6 Comments

Parallels

Posted on December 9, 2013 by CGsaysstuff

Every day, I check for blood. Every day. Multiple times. Each bathroom trip. In the middle of the night, I switch on the grating light, snapping myself from sleep. I inspect the white tissue for signs of loss. This week, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 17 weeks, baby loss, grief, hospital, memories, miscarriage, new pregnancy, pregnancy loss, trauma | 1 Comment

Weeks and Weeks

Posted on December 4, 2013 by CGsaysstuff

For weeks and weeks, my posts have taken a turn, heavy on the melancholy, light on the upbeat, hopeful tone of the summer. For weeks and weeks, I’ve been lax about posting, I’ve not been present, I’ve been in a … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, baby loss, fear, happiness, hope, miscarriage, new pregnancy, pregnancy | 9 Comments