Several months ago, following my miscarriage at 17 weeks, I thirsted for words. I was desperate for information. I longed for a connection, I wanted to scream out my story from the rooftops, casting my grief out into the world so I wouldn’t be forced to lift the weight of it alone. I remember hours spent with red and puffy eyes staring at my computer screen.
I recall scrolling through countless stories on Unspoken Grief. I wrote and I read, I searched endlessly for stories like mine. I scanned the piles for more and more information.
I remember blinking back tears as I browsed Still Standing’s Wall of Remembrance, submitting my own lost child’s name.
I absorbed all the stories of hope and moving on, of memorials, of coping with grief, of living after loss. I recall wanting, so badly, as I was in the throes of the deepest grief, to feel like I had survived. To rise from the ash to find myself ‘Still Standing’ after all. At that time, I was still buried in the rubble, disoriented and unable to find the sky.
Now, one of my stories will surface on Still Standing.
Today, I received an email informing me that a submission I wrote called ‘Screams in the Night’ has been accepted and will be published to the online mag on September 20. It deals with grief, fear and anxiety after loss.
I had written a post recently with similar tones. It had some good responses indicating that others were finding their paths crossing similarly with mine.
Now I’ve got the chance for my words to reach out and speak to an even broader audience.
Perhaps someone out there will find themselves reflected back in my journey and will feel comfort in the knowledge that they are not treading this trail alone.
I am grateful for this opportunity and I am honored to have been chosen to share my words.
Finally, I see, that I am still standing.