Getting Through, Not Getting Over



Here we are, a crowd of women,

deep within the thick

wading within waters,

cold, and dark and quick


The waters seep into our souls,

soak heavy weight into our clothes

and seek to pull us under,

where tears and anguish flow

to distant shores we’re headed

where old and new lives stand

the lives we’ve left behind

shout out to us from the land

‘build’, they shout, with voices

unburdened and unscarred

‘construct a shining bridge

to ease this journey that’s so far’

but we’ve been beaten down so

by love, by fate, by loss

we’ve left behind the tools we need

to take us over and across

‘Go over’, call the voices

of the others who don’t know

‘get over it’, their words lash out

‘don’t let your weakness show’

But we must carve our own path

directly through the fray

though we may come out bruised and bloody

we’ll reach the land someday

So when voices chant ‘get over it!’

There’s not a thing that we can do

We must part the rushing waters

We can only make it through.

I was inspired by a post today .

It called to mind the subject of ‘getting over it’. The author describes struggles with loss and those who suggest ‘just getting over it’. She brings to the surface that we must get through it, not over.

I was struck by the image of a flock of women, chained together, forging paths through rough terrain in an effort to reach stable land on the other side. As one woman loses footing, another reaches down to raise her up. Together, they carry the weight of one another until they can tread the path on their own.

Those who’ve never been here tell us we need to get over it. Maybe they don’t tell us, but their eyes seem to scream it, and their whispers shout throughout the room. What they can never understand, until they’ve set foot off the banks and into this burdened path, is that, for us, there is not getting over. There is only getting through.

We will emerge on the other side, no less, just with some battle scars to show.

Aside | This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Getting Through, Not Getting Over

  1. “As no love is the same, no loss is.” You are right, no one knows how we feel unless they’ve been here…and so many women just brush past the loss and choose to defer the suffering. Rather than release this suffering later in life, maybe on a future child who didn’t even exist when these burdens came to pass, I’ll chose to fight through it now. Live and let go of the pain, little by little, til I’m sure there’s nothing left. I won’t side step it or sweep it under the rug, I’ll feel it and I’ll feel it til it’s gone.

    • CGsaysstuff says:

      I don’t think I’ve ever been able to step over it and ignore it. I got to a point where I almost felt comfort from the pain, as though it were a dark and twisted friend, one who knew exactly where I was. It was only once I hit this rock bottom of hurt that my mind began to pick itself up again and start to work to repair my heart bit by bit.

  2. bebeparler says:

    Reblogged this on My IVFing Story and commented:
    The struggle perfectly described here:

  3. bebeparler says:

    There’s no way around it, but through it. Together. Emerging stronger.

  4. hurrahforgin says:

    This is so beautiful, very sad but true. I’m so sorry for your loss x

Comments are closed.